


Sleeping With Ghosts

by Moonzari



Series: Blite Diamond Week 2018 [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Blite Diamond Week, F/F, Gems feel grief too, White Diamond is t-posin’
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 15:28:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15975176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonzari/pseuds/Moonzari
Summary: Pink’s been shattered, Homeworld’s split in half, and the Authority all grieves differently. Though the wedge driven between White and Blue might be too much to bear.





	Sleeping With Ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> Here is day three of Blite week, which is “Mourn”. Yes, I skipped day two. I’m the best mod.
> 
> And yes, the title is unoriginal.

She doesn’t come back for years.

White is concerned. Concerned in this sort of way that is monotonous; delusional. Yellow knows that she is as affected by all of this as anyone else, though the elder Diamond acts like she’s got everything figured out.

There are times she laughs to herself. Just laughs. Like she’s gone right off the deep end. White no longer moves; no longer leaves her ship. She doesn’t call for Yellow as often anymore. She doesn’t mind it at all, really. She never really had an affinity for the leader of Homeworld like Blue and Pink did.

White assures Yellow, when she summons her to listen, that Pink is most certainly alive. It’s kind of sad when she thinks about it. She’s lost so much in a matter of a blink of an instant that she truly believes that the shattered still exist. She almost feels sorry for her.

Almost.

But it stops almost as abruptly as it started and the youngest Diamond – Pink, her beloved Starlight – seems forgotten in that same blink of an eye. It’s then she seems to remember that there’s another member of the Authority that isn’t present. One White holds dearest.

“Blue. Where is Blue? Is my delightful Moonbeam back home?” That sickeningly false sweet tone White’s voice carries causes a lump in Yellow’s throat.

“You know she isn’t here, White. Stop asking.”

Ebony lips curl into a smile… or was it a snarl? “Then go _find_ her and _bring her back_.”

Yellow becomes White’s dog, playing fetch with Blue across the universe. She’d find her amongst the orbit of Neptune’s moons, and then she was gone again. Always one step ahead. Always just out of reach.

Though Blue seems to finally run out of places to run, because she finally returns to Homeworld.

White Pearl escorts Blue to White’s ship almost immediately upon her arrival. Blue is weeping, hands clasped in front of her like she’s praying to a deity. The room begins to fill with her aura, and White tuts. “Come now. A pretty little Diamond such as yourself shouldn’t be crying like that. Pink will be back. She is young. She has much to learn that we cannot teach her.”

White doesn’t move – cannot move – nonetheless ghostly arms wind themselves about the emotional Gem to offer comfort as she sobs.

“I missed you,” the younger Diamond says in such a small voice it’s almost missed, though White hears it, and hears it well.

“I missed you more, my Moonlight. Come now, chin up. You’re a Diamond. Your subjects need you,” she says, and Blue feels a hand underneath her chin.

It’s not the same as that physical touch she had come to know the past few millennia. The seemingly forbidden caresses and kisses the two shared in empty corridors and behind closed doors. It feels like she’s lost everything, and her only answer now is to escape and get as far away as possible from the reality of what it all was now.

Pink is gone. Despite what White thought or said, Blue knows down to her very core the youngest Diamond of the Authority is never coming back.

And White is a shell of what she used to be. She _is_ there, Blue _could_ touch her. But she is not her comfort or her companion. Not anymore. The phantom arms that move around her body feel like whispers of the strong arms she knew. The regal Diamond stands like a statue, now the core of a broken planet she’s desperate to keep together.

“I’m sorry,” Blue finally chokes out, unable to look up at White’s face. Though if she did look, all she would see is amusement on her lover’s ebony-painted lips.

“Whatever for, my dear?” she asks, in that tone that is so disgustingly fake that even Blue can detect it through the blanket of melancholy that has settled onto her shoulders.

“You asked me and Yellow to guide her and protect her. We failed you. We failed _her_ ,” she says, the tears welling up in her eyes again.

White’s chuckle is one of amusement, and that gets Blue to look upwards. “Oh, my darling. You misunderstand. You haven’t failed me. You did just as I asked. I’m proud of you.”

Blue’s teeth clench in her jaw. “I’m not your Pearl, White! I’m not here for praise!”

A loud chortle fills the chamber at that and White’s eyelids lower. “Really. Last I checked, you were rather _fond_ of praise.”

The aura in the room turns from misery to scorn to rage in a matter of seconds and White just laughs again. “Am I making you mad, Moonlight? Don’t be. I didn’t mean to be so crass. Calm-“

“Can you _stop talking_ , White? Please,” Blue asks, and the tears return, and she brings a palm to her forehead as if she feels faint. “Pink is _not_ coming back. Why are you in such _denial_ about this?” she asks brokenly, desperately, wishing more than ever that White could just _move her arms_ and hold her. She needs it.

White says nothing. She watches Blue, realizes that she can’t say or “do” anything to comfort her, and feels helpless. The most powerful Gem in existence, in that one moment, feels absolutely worthless. “That will be all,” she finally says, the silence between them deafening and frankly she wants to be alone now.

“White, I didn’t mean-“

“I said _that will be all_ ,” she reiterates, and Blue bows her head, hands clasped in front of her again as she turns to leave.

The younger Diamond seems to hesitate at the doorway, as if she’s waiting for White to say something. But she doesn’t.

“I love you. Goodbye,” Blue says, and White finds herself alone as the door closes and her reply echoes around her with no one to hear it.

“I love you too, my dearest one.”

 


End file.
